slightly less angry, a little older, but still poor.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, and I mean it!

2011-12-22T20:05:00.000-08:00

I'm a Christian. If someone wishes me a Happy Hanukkah, I don't care. I simply thank them, wish them well and go on with my life.

I will wish everyone a Merry Christmas and not give a damn if you celebrate it or not. Just because you don't decorate your home with trees and lights and wrap presents, that doesn't mean I don't want you to also have a good day. Wicked sick of people that are offended by things that really don't affect them in the grand scheme of things.

Also, how do we know Singh down at the corner gas station doesn't celebrate Christmas? Who are we to judge him based on his name and employer? Are we going to have to start wearing name tags with religious identity on them so we don't fear insulting each other?

I think "not being a dick" also means that if someone wishes you well on a day that you don't personally celebrate, you shouldn't berate and insult them.

Why can't we just accept that others have different opinions and beliefs (or lack of)? Why can't we just say "Oh, that guy's a Christian, he celebrates Christmas and wants me to have a good day that day, too?" or "Hey that person wished me well on a holiday I don't celebrate. Oh well. Maybe I should wish them to have a good day too!" It's pretty easy to not be offended by a holiday greeting. Probably takes more effort and life fuel to be annoyed and complain about it. Get over it.

Merry Christmas.

2011-07-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

One of my absolute favorite quotes from a movie comes from “Secondhand Lions”. Hub McCann defends himself and his honor from a group of young miscreants at a little country store restaurant. The speech he gives before he helps them to understand life:

"I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am."

So I’ve often thought about what I would say if I was presented with that question at this point in my life. . .

Who am I? I’m Bradley Alma Kindall. I’m the son of a man that is the father of eight, grandfather to 26, and charitable to all. I’m the son of a woman that had a passion for charity matched only by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I am lucky to have grown up in Kuna, Idaho. I know it is where I was supposed to be in the grand plan. I know how lucky I am to be raised in the Gospel. I know it’s true, all of it. I know that everything has a reason, and we’re all living on the Lord’s time.

I’m the husband to the most wholesome, precious daughter of God that I’ve ever come in contact with. She’s got heart and spirit and faith to be envied. I love her more than life itself.

I’m the father of two perfect children. One little boy that is smart enough to make me worry about him, and one little girl that will absolutely melt the heart of the most hardened soul. I love them more than I can explain.

I’m a teacher. I’ve taught everyone from high school dropouts that were homeless a week ago to microphysicists that were laid off for one reason or another. I’ve taught people from nearly every race, creed, color and heritage. It doesn’t matter what I’ve taught them, but I know I did enough to see the light in their eyes. I love my job. I love it when people learn something new. I love knowing I’ve enriched their life in some way.

I am a patriot. I know what this Promised Land is. I know its value. I know it needs help. I know I can do my part to make it better. I put my hand on my heart and pledge my allegiance. I believe in the USA.

I am a Son of God. I am part of something bigger than I’ll ever know. I am a warrior in His mighty army. I have responsibilities in my life I can’t even begin to fathom. I am the patriarch to my young family. It is my duty to raise them right, to baptize my children, to confirm them members of His Church, to one day give my son the Priesthood and to one day present them at the judgment bar.

I am proud of my life, my family, and my country.

That’s who I am.

yeah. . .

2011-01-11T18:58:00.001-08:00

repeat of last year. birthdays have officially lost their luster.

:)

2010-10-02T09:15:00.001-07:00

love him.

good day.

2010-08-18T15:33:00.001-07:00

mmmmmm

yesterday. . .

2010-08-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

i woke up yesterday fully expecting to have a rather tough day. i feared i'd be a depressing wreck of a person. happily that turned out not to be the case. you see, 15 years ago yesterday was the day that my dear sweet mother lost her battle with cancer. . .

i remember very clearly that hot august day. we brought her home from the hospital with the plans of having a hospice nurse there to give her medication and the like. there was a hospital bed in the living room with lots of little machines and boxes upon boxes of tubing, needles, and medication.

when she arrived they took her out of the transport van and rolled her bed across our perfect green lawn that ward members had helped make beautiful for her before she got real sick. the last time i saw her open her eyes was when she looked to see her flag waving. it is a flag that a friend of ours had received as a gift. a flag that had flown above the US Capitol. a flag that meant the world to her. . . a flag i still have.

that night she left us and returned back home to her Father in Heaven. it was 10:45 pm when her burdens were finally lifted.

so why was yesterday better than i had expected? there are a few reasons. for one, i have two brothers-in-law that share a birthday on August 17. We don't dwell on sadness. we celebrate happiness. also i had lunch with another brother of mine. a simple burger and fries. but it was a happy day. it was a great day. i sincerely love my family more than anything.

We sang this at Mom's funeral. Still brings a tear to my eye every, single, time.

eternity can be closer than you think

2010-07-19T08:34:00.001-07:00

so saturday morning i buried one of my best friends from high school. it was one of the most painful funerals i've ever been to in an LDS church. some of his family and most of his friends aren't members of the Church. the hymns were relatively quiet. there was too much black worn. it was way too sullen for the location we were in.

you see, as Mormons, we have a strong belief in eternal life. we know that if we live right and do what we're supposed to do here in this life, then we can be together forever with our friends and families. it's truly the most beautiful plan ever created. what i experienced saturday morning was far from the almost joyous occasions of the funerals i've been to in the past.

i just wanted to grab certain people by the shoulders and shake them and tell them to smile, to be happy for what we know. true, it's never a happy time to be at a funeral. . . but having a knowledge of the Savior's plan of happiness does make it a lot easier. i overheard someone say as we left the chapel, "i'm so glad i'm not a Mormon." it was truly one of the most heartbreaking things i've ever heard. i'll tell you right now, it is not easy to live our lifestyle. nowhere does the Lord tell us this will be a piece of cake. But you can be absolutely sure that it is completely worth it. i can't think of another way to live life. i know i've not always made the right decisions, and haven't been the best example, but if we were perfect, we wouldn't be here. we're here to be refined. we're here to do all that we possibly can. we are here to prove to the Lord that we can do our best, and work hard to go back to His presence.

my friends, please, know this: there is a plan for each and every one of us. it may not be easy, it may make us cry in pain at times. this life will throw us twists and turns the likes of which we cannot imagine. but rest assured, there's a reason for everything. i know this. i know that my Mother is waiting for me in the next life. i know that if we all make the right decisions and try our hardest, we can, in fact, live happily forever after.

tell that voice in my head to zip it.

2010-07-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

today i was very impressed with someone. someone who told me they'd never let me down. i was really worried they would. i honestly feared the worst from them this morning. i shouldn't have, and it's taught me a lot.

you see, as i've said before, i judge people too quickly. i expect things out of someone based on stereotype, or random behaviors. i really don't think i'll be doing that anymore. my job involves determining a lot about a person and their behaviors. i have to judge whether or not they'll be a good investment. after doing it for 3 1/2 years you'd think that i'd have everything perfectly ironed out in my head, right? not so much. every day is a learning process, and i'm going to treat it like that more often.

on another note i just want to tell you all that i'm happy. i really am in a good spot in life. i love my wife and kid(s). i love my home. i love my Church. i love my friends. thank you all for those that have been through it with me the past 6 years.

twitch*

2010-07-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

i'm trying really hard to not become something i hate. the problem is every time i think i can expect people to actually show responsibility, they fail. there are times when i try so hard to not think humans are inherently lazy. there are times when i think that people can consciously choose to be responsible. most of the time though, i'm disappointed. maybe it's just my lot in life to expect more than i should. i know i shouldn't judge people like i do. i just. . . i want people to succeed. i really, honestly do.

there's something fantastic about the time in a person's life when they realize they're amazing. you know when you can tell the light bulb is turning on above their head? i see it almost every day. it goes back to the old "give a man a fish. . ." idea. people ask me questions all day. and i mean, all day. i am a teacher of sorts after all. many of them get frustrated when i don't just give them an answer out right. sorry, but i just don't believe in handouts. i believe wholeheartedly in teaching someone to help themselves.

i guess i just wanted to vent a little bit today. i feel better. Mac rules!

becuase you totally asked me to do this. . .

2010-06-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Food Food Food!!!
1. If I could choose my last meal it would be?
Steak, cooked well done. Wrapped in bacon and covered with Italian cheeses. Steak fries. Caesar salad. Cherry bars for dessert.

2. My favorite person to share a meal with is?

well duh, my wife.

3. The best meal I've ever had was?
When I flew back from Paris we landed in San Francisco. After a 14 hour flight, I walked straight to the airport snack bar and bought nacho cheese doritos and a dr. pepper. never was happier to eat crappy American snack food.

4. The one food that makes me feel instantly better when I'm having a bad day is?
Maverick cheddarwurst wrap or orange chicken from Panda.

5. My absolute specialty in the kitchen is?
Building pizzas on English muffins, bagels, or french bread. or any breakfast item.

6. The city that has the best food is Las Vegas.

7. My favorite healthy snack is? Rice cakes. Love them.

8. If I could learn to cook anything in the world (and be really good at it!) I'd choose?

bbq brisket.

10. The most outrageous dessert I've ever had was?

Chocolate souffle from Chandler's. Outrageous because it was $15 per serving. As for outrageous "strange" though: chocolate covered ants in Geneva, Switzerland.

YOUR TURN!! Copy and paste this and answer your own... I'd love to read it!

To have a firm foundation. . .

2010-04-03T12:43:00.001-07:00

So today while watching conference I decided it was time to finally put into print what's been on my mind for a long time. I just want to tell you a story about who I am. . .

It was a spring saturday morning much like today. I was 14. I was pulled tight down in my warm bed not having to get up or do anything when my mom came in. She sat down on my bed. Firmly she pushed on my shoulders to wake me up. I was confused, and slightly annoyed. After all, it was saturday and it was a day I didn't need to get up. She looked me in the eyes and with tears streaming down her cheeks said, "Do you know where you came from? Do you know?"

I'll admit I was confused. Very. As the consciousness came to me she told me about her most recent discoveries she had found while doing genealogy with her sister. She told me about her 3x great grandparents, Mary and Joseph Moss. Mary and Joseph had been baptized in England and came to America on a ship called the Horizon.

You can imagine me, a 14 year old boy jerked out of a sound rest not really caring about this story at this point in time. I considered snoozing away as my mom told the story until she said how her family joined a group of people to come to Salt Lake City and they were going to pull handcarts to do it. The group of people they had joined were called "The Martin Handcart Company".

At this point a little light went on in my head that really told me to listen and listen well. As the tears again began to flow from my mother's eyes she then read me a journal excerpt from her grandmother. Mary Moss explained how looking at the Sweetwater river was in fact, like staring at death itself. The only way they crossed was because of three young men sent from Salt Lake as part of a relief party.

My dear mother read as her ancestor recorded how a young man by the name of C. Allen Huntington carried her across the river. Before she could thank him, he was gone to bring more people across the frozen depths.

This young man that rescued so many was one of three that rescued the company. He and his companions later died because of the frostbite incurred on that fateful day.

I embraced my cancer-stricken mother heartily and held her, thankful for what she had found out. Later that summer my family traveled to Austin, NV to find the final resting place of our great pioneer ancestors. In the 4 years my mother had cancer I never saw her feel so alive and well then when we took that trip.

We then traveled to Sacramento for my brother's wedding reception, and then continued to San Francisco and back up through the redwood forest for our final family vacation. I remember sitting in the backseat of our minivan and watching my mother sleep in the front passenger seat. She once looked back at me and smiled. It was at that very moment I knew her mission on this earth was over. . . It was the saddest point in my life up to that point.

Five weeks later on August 17, 1995 my mother left this earth to return to the Lord's presence up above. It was a very bittersweet moment, but I know she did what she was sent to Earth to do. I love my mother very much, and am very blessed for her example in my life.

randomly trying not to forget

2010-03-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

celebrities i saw, shook hands with, high fived, or was within 20 feet of in las vegas: robin leach, kim kardashian, kelis, all 43 current nascar sprint cup drivers, carrol shelby, rick hendrick, carrot top, terry fator, jay leno, kyle petty, kenny wallace, the thunderbirds pilots, and a guy that looked too much like keith urban to not take a second look. it was good times.

thinking back. . .

2010-02-18T21:07:00.001-08:00

something i blogged about back on 2/9/09. . . true, it wasn't the perfect time or place, but. . . i. told. you. so. i only regret that i waited so long.

:/

2010-01-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

Most disappointing birthday ever.

2009-11-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

as if i actually have something to say, i'm sitting here typing like a madman letting the words flow. i can't tell you how good it feels to type. for some reason just the actions of moving my fingers over the keys, knowing where each letter exists. . . knowing i could do this with my eyes closed. yeah, that's the kind of day i'm having. the high point so far is a massive typed letter to someone about something that should have been taken care of a month ago. i wasn't happy with telling them something, i was happy typing.

for years i've wanted to be a published author. i have countless unfinished writings laying around on one hard drive or another. more than one of them are more than a hundred or so pages long. tales of woe. . . a play or two. . . poems from the darkest part of my mind. . . i guess i never really wanted to be published, or else i would have finished one of the better items. i'm truly sure there's potential to be had.

oh well. guess until then i'll just have to accept the fact that the only thing i've ever really had in the open is an essay i wrote in high school comparing trotsky and lenin to characters in lord of the flies. if you google "patrons of world domination" you'll find my essay. whatever.

anyway. im torn. not sure what about. just torn.

2009-08-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

I love ikea.

counting minutes. . .

2009-08-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

for the past 5 weeks i've been working out of town. utah. it's been interesting to say the least. i'd actually never even heard of lindon before i was assigned to work here a month or so ago. the town itself is just like any other utah town. you can't tell where it ends and orem and american fork and pleasant grove begin.

i'm not saying it's a bad place to be, it's just insanely boring. the only plus side is that i've been able to see my wife and little boy on the weekends, whether they've driven down here or i've driven or flown up to see them. they're truly the only thing keeping me from losing my ever loving mind.

i would watch movies on my compy or random youtubing or hulu, but the hotel i'm staying at has a very tired gerbil running the wifi. seriously. im getting approximately .18mb/s download speed. nowhere near a party. netflix gives me the finger every time i try to watch a movie. oh well. window shopping and wandering around the valley ain't so bad. i just hate buying gas. at home, i spend approximately $12 a month in gas for my scooter. that'll get me about 4 days worth of commuting here.

i've learned a lot about people here though. mainly the sad state of personal appearance. i actually saw a billboard that said "i got my mom back". it was an ad for liposuction. there are so many of these ads around here it's sickening. i guess that how other people look at you is much more important here. there's actually an ideal image "salon" in the mall. sad. i could comment more on this but i know it'd be a pretty sensitive issue. im just disappointed in utah i guess.

at least the people i work with are tolerable. most of them want just what i want, success in the workplace. i applaud a lot of them for how hard they work. the entitlement issue arises though and it's hard for me to keep my cool sometimes. just because you know how to fix a bsod, that doesn't mean i respect you.

anyway. venting a little today. i miss my wife and little boy.

more to come.

hi

2009-08-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

im going to blog more soon. i promise.

ftf is not just a motorcycle shop in nampa

2009-04-14T22:54:00.000-07:00

so i vent now. at 10:19 pm mst a notification of a cache was emailed to me. i recognized the area as being less than a mile from my home. i hopped in the car and at 10:23 was on site. 3 or 4 minutes later i found the cache. . . . only to find that someone else had logged an ftf. . . . normally, this would be semi-okay with me and i'd sign and be on my way. only this time, the person dated the log for the day before the cache was published. his "found log" was published on the cache page before i got back in my car (checked on my iphone). so, riddle me this: i arrive less than 5 minutes after the cache was published, and someone else already has shown up, looked for the cache, located it, signed the log, put it back, and drove away? pardon me, but if it looks like a fish. . . . smells like a fish. . . . something might be fishy.

now i know that it's not all about the ftf. it's not all about the numbers. but i've been caching for a little more than a year. have 221 caches to my name now. i know the joy of an ftf and what it means ( i have 6 myself). it just seems way too coincidental to me. is this a common practice among cachers? i'm not usually the one to jump and run at the thought of an ftf, but it is a nice bonus every once in a while.

celebrations of large numbers and dedicated caches aside, this just seems all sorts of wrong to me to be cheating in a game where the only winner is your personal pride.

honestly. i love geocaching. i really do. but it puts a bad taste in my mouth about other cachers when something like this happens. seriously. there's no prizes here. and if you claim this as a first to find sir, how can you consciously feel good that you cheated? what a tool. i claim the ftf.

my first ftf of the year, no matter what anyone else thinks. i legally got there first

vent complete. not letting this one bug me anymore.

in my life, why do i give valuable time, to people who i'd much rather kick in the eye?

2009-04-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

the title pretty much says it today. i'm still annoyed with certain people that think they know me, yet they judge me based on things that happened years ago. things i have learned from, and have moved away from. seriously. what are you, 10? is this the 5th grade? how good do you really feel when you cut me down? how good do you feel when you immediately jump on me when i make a joke. when i am clearly being facetious you thrive on tearing me down. sorry, i know that was a big word there.

anyway. that's it on that. i'm not going to let it bug me anymore. im done, and i am happy.

how do i feel, what do i say? in the end it all goes away.

2009-02-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

life is complicated. super complicated. there are things that literally drive me to enormous anger. things that shouldn't. sometimes in life you meet people that are so out of their mind that you just want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them and scream "listen to me!" but they are so stubborn that you can do nothing to help them but pray.

explained: this past week, a co-worker of mine asked me if i would fulfill some curiosities of his about my religion. now as we all know, I have not been the best little Mormon in my days, but i'm trying, and my wife will attest to the changes i've made. well, i thought i would answer some questions for him and be done with it. dear me, i was wrong. what ensued was nothing short of a battle. it turned out that all he wanted to do was tell me about things that people have considered to be incorrect or lies about LDS living and history.

I was assaulted with a barrage of information that was misinterpreted, taken out of context, and sometimes flat out fabricated. he didn't even want to hear the answers i had for him. if it didn't come from his Bible, then the answer wasn't true. he has, and does not want to have faith in things not seen, that are true. he has no capability of understanding and believing in something the he does not have written, or physical proof of. what fun is that? how can you be happy if you just sit there and wait for God to give you a sign?

i do not have blind faith. what i do have is a solid knowledge that i belong to the one true church on this earth. there's not a doubt in my mind. i love the comfort that comes with the belief in what i have felt deep in my heart. the Holy Ghost has manifested unto me that the Book of Mormon is completely, utterly, and entirely true. Joesph Smith was led to the golden plates by an angel. There's no possible way that a man on this earth wrote that book on his own. No physical proof? If that's what you want then i'm sorry. faith is amazing, can move mountains, and can change your life.

must vent

2009-02-09T10:11:00.001-08:00

so i've got something i have got to get off my chest. i'm hurt. i'm offended. i don't know where else to turn but to something that will give me no response and that won't make me argue my point, even though i kinda will.

here's the deal: i've messed up in my life a few times. sometimes pretty bad. i mean i've made some pretty stupid decisions. but you know what? i've moved on. i learned my lessons. i've changed. i've made enormous strides in my life. i have a great job that i do love, despite the lack of benefits. i take care of my wife and son. i respect my elders and my superiors. i respect people more than i ever have before, even though we may have differences.

why then, tell me, do certain acquaintances and family members insist on reminding me all the time that i used to be a fuck-up? why is it that you take every chance you can to belittle me? does it really make you feel that good? trust me, you are far from perfect. far. i don't want to get into a grudge match here, but this is ridiculous. i'm just trying to live my life. one of these days i may just unleash. i doubt that i'll actually make a scene, mainly because i'm not really a confrontational kind of person.

i just don't understand. why must you do this? some of you that do this to me i have a deep love for. why can't you just love me back like a family member should? why can't you "friends" find a common ground for us, instead of rehashing the same old crap that we know neither one of us will change or agree on?

seriously, it's getting old. i can't last forever. but it's not fair. you know it's not. your lack of compassion is what will destroy our relationship. your lack of tact and unwillingness to admit that a person can change can hurt us forever. it really is your choice.

i've moved on from there. it's time you did too.

just curious. . .

2009-02-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

Do you believe:

1) Yes or no: Do you believe America is a good place, that we've lost our way over the years, that we have done bad things but generally speaking we tried hard. We try to make amends. We have tried to do the right thing. Just like everybody else, we fail from time to time and we have truly lost our way in the last 20 years. But gosh, if you look at America, she's good and our founders were good and our founding documents are good. We've just strayed too far away from them. Yes or no.

2) Yes or no: I believe in God. I may not go to the same church or synagogue or mosque as the majority of people in America, but I believe in God and he is the center of my life, and God does not tell people to behead others or to persecute others that see God in a different way. As long as that god is not telling them to persecute others.

Yes or no.

3) Yes or no: It is my responsibility to try to be better and a more honest person than I was yesterday. Sometimes I fail, I'll make mistakes, but it's my main mission to be better than I was personally than I was yesterday.

4) Yes or no: The family is sacred. I and my spouse are the ultimate authority under God when it comes to my family. I raise my family, and that comes with a grave responsibility. If I fail, I answer to God.

5) Yes or no: If you break the law, you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6) Yes or no: I have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but that is not a guarantee of equal results.

7) Yes or no: I work hard for what I have, and I will share it with others that I choose when I choose, should I choose. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

8) It is not un-American for anyone to disagree with my opinion, but my opinion or others' opinions may be anti-American. Anti-American rhetoric would be anything that is destructive to the Constitution and our country as our founders understood it.

9) And the last one is the government works for me. The government answers to me. I do not answer to the government.

Some say Glenn Beck is insane. I applaud him for his guts and his insanity.

come little child and together we'll learn. . .

2009-02-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

so i have to admit that right now i'm having a bit of an emotional breakdown. i can't seem to go 15 minutes or so without having tears of some kind or a lump in my throat. last night was pretty draining for me.
about an hour and a half after putting our little boy to bed, my wife came in the bedroom and woke me up. i could hear preston coughing, and it just didn't seem right. it sounded so bad. immediately 53435 different scenarios went through my head. i honestly was terrified. we quickly got our clothes on and got ready to take him to the hospital. kathryn needed to put her contacts in and get some things together to take with us, so i had to hold him.
you parents out there will agree with me that there is nothing more heartbreaking than to have your little one in dire pain. he was coughing so hard and trying so hard to breathe that i could barely take it. i knew i had to drive though, so i held it together. his little red face looking at me just tore my heart up. the tears just poured outta the poor little guy.
luckily it was a relatively slown ight at the e.r. so we got right in. the next hours were pretty much a blur to me. within an hour or so though, he was breathing ok and wanting to run around and look at the wallpaper in the room and play. the relief was like that which i have never felt.
no one told me this parenting thing would ever feel like this. i mean, he can't talk yet. he's only 14 months old. he can't tell us what's going on. it just rips up my heart when he's in pain and he can't tell us except for crying.
i will say though, that when he's feeling well, and has energy, that he is truly the most adorable little guy i've ever known. he has these little round cheeks, big bright blue eyes, and a smile that'll melt your heart. i love playing with him. i just. . . love my son. i love his mother beyond all measure.
kathryn, seriously, you're amazing. you're a wonderful caring mother, and a very caring, and (thankfully) forgiving wife. i can't imagine being without you, ever.
anyway, preston is feeling better and is home now. i'm eternally thankful. i love my Heavenly Father and am very appreciative of all my many, many blessings. so glad to have someone that loves us all so much, and cares for us in deep ways.
again, i thank Kathryn, for being such a strong mommy. you're the best sweetie.

This song by Darius Rucker pretty much makes me cry every time. Even though he's singing about his daughter, the sentiment is pretty much the same. Kinda funny that Hootie and the Blowfish has turned to this. But yeah, I think this song fits today.

27 things. stop tagging me. it got annoying at the 25th time.

2009-01-29T07:53:00.000-08:00

1. i love opera. not the browser. the on stage singing story kind.
2. i could eat pizza for every meal for about 3 weeks before i'd need something different.
3.i have a feeling i'm destined to be on the news.
4. i love firearms. yes, they make me feel more manly. especially against a small furry woodland creature.
5. i'm a certified Apple technician. i've been certified in Mac OS X Tiger, Leopard, as well as desktop and portable hardware. That means I can use the Apple logo on a business card legally.
6. sometimes i still want to be a trucker.
7. one of these days i'm going to plant a geocache on the moon. or the top of mt. borah. if you don't know what that means: www.geocaching.com.
8. trying not to swear means i make up fun combinations of words like "pageantry update!"
9. i'm a lot more self conscious than i let on.
10. i know the connection between here and the afterlife can be very thin sometimes.
11. i anger a lot of people when they learn of my point of view. then for some reason they don't like me. what kind of friend are you when we can't have different opinions?
12. one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks me to explain something that i just explained.
13. i love to teach. a lot. i think it's in my blood or something.
14. when people type "your" when they should type "you're" i consider that person to be of minimal intelligence.
15. i have several unfinished novels that are at least 100 pages so far.
16. i love to cook amazing entrees. it's the whole buying food and cleaning things that bug me.
17. 17 has been my favorite number since the 4th grade.
18. i'm constantly afraid that my knee will one day just completely give out and i'll have to have major reconstructive surgery. too bad my work can't negotiate an insurance plan to save our lives.
19. i believe in aliens, but i don't believe we landed on the moon.
20. i know why Solidarty is capitalized.
21. i look exactly like my dad did when he was my age. and i'm proud of it when i'm recognized by a guy who was in the Navy with him in 1958. (i'll tell the story some other time).
22. i'd give anything to be able to serve in the armed forces for my country.
23. i don't care how silly i look riding my scooter, $2.28 to fill my tank and drive 200+ miles makes me happy.
24. i have no fear of dying. but i do fear my God.
25. i love my iPhone more than any other piece of technology i've ever owned.
26. i can't wait to build pinewood derby cars for my son. i just might get started this summer.
27. above all, i love my family. i'd do anything for my wife and little boy. they seriously mean everything to me. nothing and no one can ever convince me there's more to life than my family.

k that was a bit painful. i don't like talking about myself. maybe you've learned something about me you didn't know before. either way, thanks for reading. i love my readers.

brass tacks.

2009-01-23T10:23:00.000-08:00

so i've had a few emails over the past 24 hours blasting me for saying "a little more than half" of voters voted for mr. obama. and so here's the deal, i'm not an idiot. i know math.

As far back as i can remember, 50% is half. 52.7% therefore to me is "a little more than half". going by electoral votes it seems a bit more lopsided of course, but i'm just talking straight numbers. perhaps i should have been a bit more specific.

and before you all go off on me for trusting fox news, my source is far from that:
http://www.npr.org/news/specials/election2008/2008-election-map.html#/president?view=race08

it's npr. i think even i can agree they're a pretty fair and balanced source. so relax kids. all will be well.

post-it notes

2009-01-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

remember the scene in the movie bruce almighty when he just says yes to everyone's prayers? that is kinda what im feelin from this obama dude. i just don't think he's got what it takes to make the right judgement calls. scares the hell outta me.

proof: meet pudding

2009-01-22T17:47:00.000-08:00

this is what i mean by "open minds" that don't allow us to have thoughts of our own. just because our point of view is different, they think we're wrong. we're less of a person because we have different political points of view. screw you. this is what is going to make me sick over the next 4 years. the idea that democrats are intrinsically smarter is just going to piss me off. i know i'll just have to deal with it and take the high road, but that doesn't mean i have to like it. you people are pathetic. making fun of people because they are different than you. how sad of a life you must truly have. how glad i am that i know where i stand, and that i have no problem with you having different opinions. almost makes me sick to know that i would fight to the death to prevent your right to say it.

germs and perfection

2009-01-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

so i've had a lot that i've really wanted to blog about lately. i mean, a lot. i've had ideas repeatedly fly through my head. i've just been super lazy i guess. bugs me. wishing i could just carry around some kind of microphone and audio blog throughout my day. come on steve jobs, get off your hormone imbalanced butt and make me something like that. whatever.

so there's something i seriously need to get off my chest. i am so sick of people with "open" minds that don't believe i should have one too. their whole idea is that everyone should have their own thoughts and ideals, so long as they're the same. kills me. like this inaguration. i didn't watch it. i don't like the man that a little more than half the voters elected. i don't support him. i support the USA, but i honestly don't believe he has the mental capacity to take care of all of us. i proclaim my boycott of nbc, cnn, hnn, and even fox news. i don't want to hear it at all. so you think i'm a "hater" because i hate all the fawning over this new president. sorry, i already have a Messiah, you can keep the change.

i'm not going to hate obama. just give him the same respect the democrats and liberals gave Bush. if obama can save us all somehow, great. i'll believe it when my wallet sees it.

i'm not racist. you are. i don't care that he's half black. seriously. get over it. i don't care that no one with the same color of skin as him has been made president yet. you know, if we didn't have tv, and all this happened over radio, and no one ever said he was half black, how would it be different. i can gaurantee you that there are people who voted for him just because of his race. who freaking cares???? like i've said before, if you want to have the same rights, the same treatment, stop acting different. stop reminding me you're different somehow. i treat no one different because of their heritage. it boils my blood it does. just shut up and do your job. like i tell the gay people, if you want to be the same, act the same, don't remind me that you're different.

it's simple.

2009-01-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

i'm a very frustrating person.

holidaze

2008-11-27T07:48:00.000-08:00

i began typing this at 3:28 a.m. on thanksgiving day. i hadn't slept yet. not that i have a ton to worry about, i just couldn't sleep. it's amazing that i'm actually about to say this but, the internet is soooo boring now. i roll over and put the lappy away. i toss and turn and toss and turn.

so i took a walk. i wandered the new neighborhood that i live in now. for the 2nd time in my life i live in meridian. i haven't technically lived here in 26ish years. i was brought home for the first time to a house on 15th street in the winter of 1981. i really should go see that place sometime. maybe redkindle something. i dunno.

so i'm kind of looking forward to later today, but not really, but i really am. that make sense? whatevz. dinner at my in-law's house. a bit more formal than i'm used to for holiday dinners. guess it's because my family is ginormous and a formal dinner for us is a thing of the way back when. we usually set up a massive buffet and sit wherever and eat on paper plates. i freaking love it. my family has the greatest get togethers. usually centered around a birthday or two. i don't think you can go more than 5 weeks on a calendar without hitting someone's birthday in my family. 8 kids, all married, all with at least 2 kids except for us, with only 1. it's great.

so i'm looking forward to this weekend the most. Kathryn is planning on actually moving back in with me. we've been separated since father's day. the past few months we've been working really hard and spending time together and really reevaluating things. it's been painful, but beneficial now. hindsight is always 20/20. i'll just be glad to have my family back under one roof. i love my son with all my heart and my wife is top notch. truly a blessing and a gift from above. just wish my mother could have met her. i know they'd get along swimmingly.

gah. sunrise. i really should get some sleep. it's so annoying to see both the sunset and sunrise within one day. i keep telling myself that i need to sleep. that i should get some pills or something. but the last time i took a unisom i was asleep for 19 hours and woke up with a migraine that put me in the hospital for 2 days. no dice yo. guess i'll try au natural napping for now.

later days.

because its all smiles and business these days

2008-11-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

i love music. i mean, looooooove music. i don't understand how it's built. i don't quite get what a "key" is. or an octave, or how long a measure should last. the only musical instrument i can play is my iPod. my wife cringes when i sing in the car. to be honest, the only musical talent i have is my vast knowledge of 80's rock bands. but i'll tell you this, i love music.

i wish more people shared my sincere passion for the literal sense of music. i wish more people actually knew and cared about the lyrics of songs they hear. most songs i know or hear i can find some way to connect them to my life. there are way too many that can draw some serious emotion from me.

i could go on forever with examples of songs that i love. it's an understatement that it would take me a while. anyway. until i can get a big ole list together i'll leave it at this. i love music, and i'm thankful for the artists and songwriters that create it all.

taking down the wall

2008-11-18T09:31:00.001-08:00

about me. who am i and why should you care? well, for what it's worth, i don't care if you care or not. i'm writing for me. if you happen upon my blog, great.

like i said earlier, i have a lot to say. putting it to sensible words is totally different. for as long as i can remember, i have loved to write. sad thing is, no one but me can read my writing. i remember as far back as first grade having teachers trying so hard to teach me to write legibly. i honestly never cared. i never saw the importance of having good handwriting. sad thing is that i didn't even get to be able to type assignments and papers and what not until i was in high school.

in high school is when i really started to write though. i had written a few short stories here and there, but nothing i was particularly proud of. as a super depressed teenager i really learned of my passion for the written word. i didn't want to read anyone else's, i just wanted to write my own. there were probably only about 3 or 4 books that i actually read in full during the last 6 years of my schooling. i just couldn't care long enough to pay attention to any of them. the only book that even caught my attention was during my sophomore year i read "dark star, the biography of jim morrison" shortly before my trip to france.

it was sometime during my freshman year in high school that i started to put my words on paper. i took an empty notebook and commenced to write my own poetry down. i filled the notebook within a few weeks. mainly short poems 8-10 lines long. mostly pretty dark stuff. every once in a while i'd blare out some two or three page poem of nonsense. my favorite one i wrote was called "popcorn beans". don't ask. i didn't understand it then, and i don't understand it now. i also put together a few epic poems of my own storytelling. one of them was rather disturbing about a teen who thought he saw his girlfriend with someone else. then he killed her. turns out it was not her. "two sillhouettes on the shade"esque you could say. it was that poem that a teacher of mine found that got me sent to see mrs. ihling, the drug and behavior counselor. go figure. they thought i was insane.

so periodically i write. i love to write. i love to express myself through words. i love to read them over and over. not for a self-appreciatingness (yeah, i make up words sometimes), but rather to remind myself of my own thoughts. my memory sometimes likes to play tricks on me you see. so yeah, this blog will be super random. deal with it. i am bradley.

kill my demons and my angels may die in the crossfire

2008-11-18T08:51:00.000-08:00

i've probably got a lot to say. it won't come easy at first, but then i'll start typing and the next thing i know i'll have typed 4 pages of nonsensical gibberish. but if you know me, you know that's nothing new.

i'll probably even get a bit pissy here and there. sometimes i like to proclaim my point of view or my opinion on a hot topic. here's the deal: when i post my opinion, i really don't care what you think. if i post on some political or social event, i don't want you to tell me why i'm wrong. if i want your opinion, i'll read your blog. otherwise, keep your copy and paste blind spewing to yourself.

on that note, i am just about sick of people telling me why my opinion is wrong. i'm a self-proclaimed hard core, right-wing, conservative republican. i believe in my religion, my family, and my guns. i believe that people should be able to have their own opinions. i believe that a lot of what people do on the earth today is evil. i don't understand why there are so many people that think having a socialist president is okay. it just boggles my mind. it really does.

what i also don't understand is why so many prostesters are so insane. the evil that is homosexuality is now rearing its ugly head. here's the deal folks, more than half of california agrees that the word "marriage" should only be delegated to a man and a woman. that is awesome to me. not enough of a yes vote, but still, the measure passed. i am appalled at the vigorous protest that the gay people of America have put up. they want us all to be "tolerant", and accept their lifestyle, and sit back and watch their protests. but when someone protests them, they get all up in arms, they physically attack people. it's disturbing. for those of you that have actually read a correct translation of the Bible, or any of you that have any idea of a true religion, you know that homosexuality is flat-out evil.

i'm not saying that i won't tolerate you living your life. i'm not saying you can't make your own decisions. i'm not saying you shouldn't have the same rights as me. what i am saying is that you should not have any kind of special rights. you should not try to force your lifestyle in my face. you don't see me having a hetero-pride parade do you? you don't see me on tv crying my eyes out because a gay person walked by and offended me by looking at me weird. come on. if you want to offend God, and damn yourself to hell, fine, that's up to you. but do it in the privacy of your own home. if you want tolerance, then take the difference away from us. put away your rainbow flags. if i don't know you're gay, and if i never find out, then how am i ever supposed to offend you anyway? but if you're all flamboyant and screaming and fighting and telling me that because i don't think you should be married i'm the evil one? you are sadly mistaken that i will have any compassion over you my friend. i wholeheartedly believe what you do is evil, and that it IS A CHOICE.

for those of you that are all for keeping marriage between a man and a woman, please, for the love of all that is holy, pray. pray often. keep up the fight. yes, i believe that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained by God. and last time i checked, God makes the rules, and there are no exceptions. that's all i'll say on that right now. im sure more will come. but right now i'm done.